N I Z A

Aku manusia
yang merangkak,
berjalan,dan berlari
kadang-kadang
melompat,terjatuh,tersungkur
dan bangun semula
dalam rentas waktu
suka dan duka
kehidupan.

Aku hidup dalam sedar dan mimpi
yang sarat erti
Aku akhirnya mengerti
yang hidup lebih baik begini

Jangan tanyakan kenapa
aku diam, bila aku berdiam

Jangan tanyakan ke mana
aku menghilang, jika aku mahu hilang

Hidup ini lebih daripada apa
yang berputar sekitar duniamu

Aku mahu bebas
mencapai langit teratas

Tak perlu aku jelaskan
pada kamu yang meminta penjelasan.

Tak perlu aku jelaskan
pada kamu yang tak cukup pemahaman.

Dalam hilai tawa
orang-orang yang besar suara
aku hanyalah seorang pemerhati

Dalam hiruk pikuk
orang-orang yang sibuk
kutuk mengutuk
aku masih seorang pemerhati

Dalam riuh rendah
orang-orang
yang melatah ghairah
aku sekadar memerhati

Dalam keriuhan orang-orang
pelbagai ragam kerenah

aku tenggelam dalam diri
sendiri mencari ruang sepi
di dasar hati
cuba untuk mengerti

nilai manusiawi yang maknawi

itu bagaimana?

Tuhanku..
aku bersyukur kerana
aku manusia
yang masih Kau berikan waktu
untuk mencari jalan pulang ke sisiMu

Aku bersyukur kerana Kau
masih sudi mendengarkan doaku

Aku memang manusia hina
tanpa cahaya cintaMu
Aku memang manusia hina
tanpa hidayah kasihMu

Ampunkan aku
atas segala dosa dan khilafku

Ampunkan aku
kerana aku hanyalah manusia
yang tak punya apa-apa..

Terimalah aku, dan kurniakan
damai di jiwaku

wahai Tuhan mahakarya
tetapkan hatiku
dan peliharalah aku
terus di jalanMu.

 

Kamu..
siapa kamu?
Adakah kamu yang muncul dalam mimpi siangku?
yang melarik segaris senyum di bibirku
yang membuat setiap hari yang kulewat
terasa penuh ceria.

Kamu..
sungguh aku ingin kenal sedekat-dekatnya
Kamu..
yang telah menunjukkan aku
lorong cinta sang Pencipta,
Bantulah aku mengenal mahakaya
Penciptaku.

Aku atau kamu yang bermimpi,
Bila kita sangka dunia ini realiti?

Dunia yang aku dan kamu duduki
ini, hanyalah cantuman mimpi-mimpi
yang membuka persepsi
rasa, lihat, dengar, bau,dan sentuh
kita, cuma sedang bermimpi

Dalam mimpi yang menguji segala deria persepsi

Begitulah yang aku fikirkan.

Dunia ini, kalau aku ikutkan
tetaplah dunia mimpi-mimpi
Kalau, aku biarkan
Aku akan bangun tanpa mimpi indah yang bererti

Tapi, tak mungkin aku kenal mimpi itu indah
kalau aku tak bisa bedakan yang mana indah, yang mana ngeri
Bukan?

Aku telah kehilangan kata-kata selain daripada ini
untuk aku ungkapkan seluruh perasaanku
tentang dunia yang bukan hakiki ini.

Dunia yang benar-benar menguji,
menduga seluruh jiwa raga.

Aku berdoa pada Tuhanku

Semoga nanti, bila kita bangun
dapat kita kecap nikmat realiti
kehidupan abadi yang telah dijanjikanNya.

Amiiin..

Saya seorang Melayu beragama Islam,dan berkerakyatan Malaysia.

Semasa di bangku sekolah,saya melihat politik sebagai satu "subject"
yang tidak menarik untuk dibincangkan,kerana saya tidak nampak kaitan
langsung antara saya dengan politik.Saya tidak faham kenapa cikgu
mengajar "subject" sejarah di sekolah, terutama sejarah Tanah Melayu
dan Malaysia dan kenapa cikgu menggalakkan kami keluar mengundi bila
sampai masanya.

Namun,semasa di universiti saya diperkenalkan dengan matapelajaran "politics" yang telah membuka minda saya tentang peranan "kuasa" dalam menentukan hala tuju,dan dasar sebuah negara.Saya telah faham perkaitan langsung antara saya dengan politik + ekonomi + sosial.
Saya faham kenapa negara dan perlembagaan negara diadakan.

Pernah kami ditanya oleh pensyarah,jika kamu diberi pilihan…"negara manakah di dunia yang mahu kamu pilih untuk tinggal?"

Letak tepi soal patriotisme,ramai yang menjawab masih mahukan Malaysia.
Segelintir pula menjawab, mahu tinggal di negara-negara lain (yang
mungkin termasuk dalam negara yang ingin mereka lawati,begitu juga
saya!).Ada yang jawab Arab,Brunei,Jepun dll.Masing-masing
dengan sebab/alasan tertentu.

Mula-mula,saya ingin jawab "America" kerana saya tertarik dengan dasar liberalnya dan motto "American Dream". Namun, mengenangkan pemimpinnya waktu itu,yang corrupt dan terang-terangan menjadi dalang perpecahan bangsa Muslim di negara majoriti Muslim, saya batalkan America.Lalu,menjawab "Turki".

Pensyarah bertanya "Kenapa?"
Saya jawab, "saya tertarik dengan gabungan budaya timur-barat di Turki".Itu saja.Self-fullfilment.

Maka,tidak ada seorang pun yang jawab America sebagai negara pilihan.

Mendengar pilihan kami,pensyarah mengulas

"Tidak ada
sebab yang salah/betul bagi kamu memilih negara-negara yang disebutkan
tadi.Kamu memilih atas citarasa masing-masing.Apa yang lebih
penting,kita harus tahu,dan faham dulu hak-hak kita sebagai warganegara
dunia/sesebuah negara sebelum kita memutuskan untuk tinggal di situ."

Perbincangan itu menimbulkan persoalan lain di minda saya…

Saya terfikir sekalipun kita mempunyai pilihan, adakah pilihan itu benar terbaik dan benar-benar keputusan kita?

Saya terfikir sekiranya saya dilahirkan bukan sebagai Melayu adakah saya akan lebih berkeinginan untuk mempelajari bangsa ini?

Jika pula saya ingin mempelajari tentang bangsa Melayu ini,di mana harus saya mulakan?Negaranya?Bahasanya?Agamanya?

Adakah saya akan pergi ke negara Arab,China,India,Afrika untuk
memulakan pencarian saya?Atau, harus saya ke America,Britain,Singapore
untuk mencari bangsa Melayu ini?

Atau,saya akan terus ke Malaysia sahaja? Majoriti Melayu,barangkali.

Seterusnya,saya terfikir lagi…sekiranya Malaysia bukan dipimpin
bangsa Melayu, adakah saya akan berpendapat Melayu ini bangsa yang
lemah? Melayu yang tidak ada tanah besarnya?

Dan,kedua…sekiranya Malaysia dipimpin oleh pemimpin bukan Islam,
adakah saya akan berpendapat muslim juga lemah? Muslim yang tidak
berdaya juang.

Dan,ketiga…sekiranya Malaysia dipimpin oleh pemimpin bukan Melayu
Muslim, adakah saya akan berpendapat Melayu muslim sekadar kaum
minoriti yang semakin hilang identiti bangsanya?

Keempat,sekiranya Malaysia dipimpin oleh pemimpin Melayu
Muslim,berkerajaan berpandukan Syariah yang mewajibkan setiap rakyatnya
patuh segala hukum-hakam…adakah saya akan berpendapat Melayu muslim
ialah bangsa yang jumud,tidak menggalakkan pemikiran kritikal yang
mencetus improvisation tamadun? Ikut saja sebelum memahami.Melayu
muslim pak turut?

Atau kelima,sekiranya kerajaan Malaysia seumpama itu bersikap liberal
dan menggalakkan rakyatnya berbahas isu-isu berkenaan Islam yang
universal secara terbuka…adakah saya akan berpendapat kerajaan itu
berkemungkinan menggalakkan rakyatnya berpecah belah dalam hal agama?

Saya tidak tahu apakah yang British fikirkan semasa mereka menyerahkan Malaya kepada pemimpin berbangsa Melayu,muslim dulu.

Adakah mungkin British suka mendengar pepatah Melayu,
"Hujan emas di negeri orang,hujan batu di negeri sendiri,lebih baik negeri sendiri."

Melayu yang humble,berdiplomasi,dan toleran barangkali.

This thought had terribly itching my mind since the day of national election. The thought that I can’t just erase and move on. The thought that I need to share with public, but I prefer to write it down this way…

That night after election, I watched this idiot box called TV, and almost every channels(I don’t subscribe Astro!!) were showing the "review of PRU 12".

I chose to keep on switching from a channel to another, (although I can choose to turn off the TV, do other things, and act like national politic is none of my business).

But, I’d chose to stay alert. Maybe, national politic isn’t my business, but this country still part of my business. This country called Malaysia.

A country which I was born in, learned and understand its history very well.

That night…I can’t remember which channel I turned on. There was a reasoning session by politics academician, and politics observer/analyst…on how most people who voted for "opposition parties"  thought that it’s not relevant anymore to vote for parties that represent race(s), as those Malaysian voters wanted an IDEAL country that based on a certain ideology!

So, this point of view had itched my critical mind to analyze deeper…to think of whether that so called "ideology" is strong enough to protect this land, and remain its symbolic name and role as "Malaysia" forever? (Of course not forever, as everything we have now is totally a virtual reality created by God!But, lets take "forever" to as long as God allows)

I started to question myself of whether a government based solely on certain ideology can guarantee justice for its people, at all level?

What are the bottom line and benchmark to measure that justice are applied at all level, for all people from all races, gender, age and level of income without bias at all?

How subjective justice can mean to everyone.

It’s an acceptable norm for anyone to help other human beings, regardless their colours and origin. But, in limited circumstance…will someone from race A prioritize the demand of other races, when deep in his heart he knows that how bad his people needs his attention and support? Will this man turns to race B, or C by only relying on certain shared ideology?

Is this ideology so strong, so versatile, so evergreen, cannot be shattered, can never be challenge and will always keep them unite until the end? Bullshit!!! Ideology was created, experimented, became stagnant or revolutionized or been replaced over time.

 

So, where is the bottom line for the most ideal nation that based on ideology alone?

 

On the other hand…

Why nations on this globe are categorized into certain sections known as East, West, North and South ??? Why they are known as Easterners or Westerners or Islanders?

If a Westerner traveled to, stayed, and made a living in an Eastern territory, will he become an Easterner too? Will people in that Eastern territory acknowledge him as an Easterner? Maybe yes, if he can accept, share same values, and live up the Easterners’ standard culture.

Second, he may remain as a Westerner in an Eastern territory if he behaves neutral,and respects the way Easterners are.

Third, this Westerner can be seen as a threat to the local Easterners, if he came in with a set agenda to abolish the rights and living standard of the locals.

Based on the third model, of course the locals would stand up to preserve and protect their rights to stay remain on their so called territory. It is a normal reaction ever since people were illiterate. A common sense!

Ok now, lets look this way…

Is it rightful for the Westerner to come and claim his wish to govern the Eastern territory while he already knows that these Easterners were the ones who discover the territory at the first place, had put their efforts to found a government and had build a nation on this territory?

Of course, he can stay as long as he wants to stay, if he knows how to respect the locals, and prioritize  the locals. But, do you really think he is willing to do so? Only the dumbest of the  dumb would believe!

Otherwise, if he cannot or doesn’t want to respect and prioritize the Easterners in their own territory…he can choose to leave, and go back to his own territory, his own land, where he is most welcome and needed by his own tribe (UNLESS, he doesn’t have a place to go back)

 

So, my question… if all Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Iranians, Arabs, Africans, and Thais, in this whole world cannot settle peacefully in anywhere, shall they go back to their homeland? Yes.

If current Malaysian Malays all over the world find difficulties anywhere in this world, and wishes to go back to their homeland, can we guarantee this land will always belongs to us? Can this land remain as home and provide shelter for them and our great grand generations to come? How can we do so, without land and power?

 

Think. Think. Think.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Politics is a medium created by groups of people with flair interest/sentiment on a nation’s power. Think big and think clear!

Think. Shall we start networking abroad, and find places where we can nestle our own Malaytowns??? Think. Think. Think.

Think back and think forward. But, act now!!!

If we can’t think of the future, do think of Malaysia past history.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Think of how Stamford Raffles got into Tanah Melayu

Think of why and how British formed Negeri-Negeri Selat

Think of why British brought in more foreign workers, from far land countries

Think of how British governed back then multiracial Malaya

Think of why and how Onn Jaffar formed UMNO

Think of why UMNO united with MCA and MIC to form Parti Perikatan

Think of how Tunku Abdul Rahman worked with them to fight for Independence

Think of the deal Tunku Abdul Rahman made with British to protect Malays rights through Federal Constitution

Think of why Tunku Abdul Rahman agreed to release Singapore

Think of which party lead Singapore since then! Think of its twin brother!

Think of how the Malays over there live up since then

Think of why and how 13 May 1969 tragedy occurred

Think of why Tun Abdul Razak introduced New Economic Policy (DEB)

Think of why Tun Mahathir started Vision 2020

Think of how Tun Mahathir projected Malaysia Boleh!

Think of when and why Tun Mahathir formed ISA

And now, think of why Penang fell into DAP grasp

Think of why shouldn’t they aim other state, instead

Think about the Malaysia history before and after 50th Independence

——————————————————————————————————————-

Above all this thinking, the past and the future begins with an idea…

So, think carefully the next time we think an idea is enough to found a nation.

Think carefully before we start believing an idea alone, can ensure our survival on a place called "nation".

Who else will defend this race if not us? Who else will fight for our own rights if not us? Think!

___________________________________________________________________________________

Perjuangan Belum Selesai

Sesungguhnya tidak
ada yang lebih menyayat,
dari melihat bangsaku
dijajah.
Tidak ada yang lebih
menyedihkan,
dari membiarkan bangsaku
dihina.

Air mata tiada ertinya,
sejarah silam tiada
maknanya,
sekiranya bangsa
tercinta terpinggir,
dipersenda dan dilupakan.

Bukan kecil langkah
wira bangsa,
para perjuang kemerdekaan,
bagi menegakkan kemulian,
dan darjat bangsa.
Selangkah bererti
mara,
mengharungi sejuta
dugaan.

Biarkan bertatih,
asalkan langkah itu
yakin dan cermat,
bagi memastikan negara,
merdeka dan terpelihara.
Air mata sengsara,
mengiringi setiap
langkah bapa-bapa kita.

Tugas kita bukan kecil,
kerana mengisi kemerdekaan,
rupanya lebih sukar,
dari bermandi keringat
dan darah menuntutnya.

lagi pula apalah ertinya
kemerdekaan,
kerana bangsaku asyik
mengiya dan menidakkan,
mengganguk dan membenarkan,
kerana sekalipun
bangganya negara,
kerana makmur dan
mewahnya,
bangsaku masih melata,
dan meminta-minta
di negaranya sendiri.

Bukan kecil tugas
kita,
meneruskan perjuangan
kemerdekaan kita,
kerana rupanya selain
memerdekakan,
mengisi kemerdekaan
itu jauh lebih sengsara.

Bangsaku bukan kecil
hati dan jiwanya,
bukankah sejak zaman
berzaman,
mereka menjadi pelaut,
pengembara,
malah penakluk terkemuka.
Bukankah mereka sudah
mengembangkan sayap,
menjadi pedagang
dan peniaga,
selain menjadi ulama
dan ilmuan terbilang.

Bukankah bangsaku
pernah mengharung samudera,
menjajah dunia yang
tak dikenali.
Bukankah mereka pernah
menjadi wira serantau,
yang tidak mengenal
erti takut dan kematian.

Di manakah silap hingga
bangsaku,
merasa begitu kecil
dan merendah diri.
Apakah angkara penjajah,
lalu bangsaku mulai
melupakan,
kegemilangan silam,
dan sejarah gemilang
membina empayar.

Tugas kita belum selesai
rupanya,
bagi memartabat dan
memuliakan bangsa,
kerana hanya bangsa
yang berjaya
akan sentiasa dihormati.

Rupanya masih jauh
dan berliku jalan kita,
bukan sekadar memerdeka
dan mengisinya,
tetapi mengangkat
darjat dan kemulian,
buat selama-lamanya.

Hari ini, jalan ini
pasti berliku,
kerana masa depan
belum menjanjikan surga,
bagi mereka yang
lemah dan mudah kecewa.

Perjuangan ini belum
selesai,
kerana hanya yang
cekal dan tabah,
dapat membina mercu
tanda,
bangsanya yang berjaya.

 

-Dr. Mahathir bin Mohamad-

(Malam Puisi Utusan, 14 Mei, 1996)

I’d voted for our nation today.Malay+sia
First time experience voting in national election.Cool.

Although I like changes, in life. I always believe it should be calculated changes. Calculated risks, some called it.

Although I didn’t bother to vote during campus election, I do concern on whose leading this country.

_______________________________________________________________________

I still remember that time when a Singaporean uncle asked my point of view for this election, as he drove me from Vivo City to Lakeside.

He: Do u think it’s necessary to have opposition parties in your country?
I: Of course, it should give the government a sense of precaution, or insecurity…to always be competitive from time to time.

He: If that’s the case…is it possible for the opposition parties to have more seats in your Cabinet? And, would you be comfortable if the BN:opposition ratio be like 50:50??

I: Wow..for your first question, I think nothing is impossible in this place we called "world".

For your second question, it surely scare me! There would be possibility that opposition parties will trigger our current comfort zone. It’s a total risk you know to allow such situation occurs…What I’m thinking, at least…it’s better to remain majority seats by the current government for the fact that, we’ve seen how this government had tackled many critical issues. Of course, there must be weakness here and there…but,at least we’ve noticed it and can always adjust on the changes they made.

It’s a nightmare to imagine DAP in that 50% as I’m afraid over time, there could be possibility for them to win over the game. When they win, I’m afraid.. they gonna change our policies..and perhaps, change the country’s name.Who knows?

If PAS in that 50%, surely we can’t be as competitive as we are now. You know what, I think religion shouldn’t be politicized! I believe that religion is universal…always beyond single perspective. Religion should be embraced…and shouldn’t been politicized.

If Keadilan in that 50%, I’m afraid Malaysia would turn as like Indonesia or Bangladesh..Get what I mean?

He: So, the conclusion is…it’s OK to have opposition in Malaysia cabinet. But, it shouldn’t be on equal ratio to BN. It should be less in percentage…right?

I: You’re right!

I just back from Singapore..had spent few days with Tok Ban’s family (my father’s uncle).They are so warm, helpful, and friendly as like we’ve known for ages..
I didn’t really sure the purpose of why I decided to escape from KL last week.

I’ve been thinking about the purpose and the reasons for my action…along the way back to KL. Perhaps, there were lots of reason that God wanted me to unveil. I woke up that morning, and felt called to “run away” from my stagnant, boring routine.

Now, I’m back with cute memories to remember(”,)..Part of them, to laugh @ Tok Ban fun jokes. How he reminds me to Ayah..